Later

i don’t know what LATER would have for her…

lying on bed.

blank stares.

watery eyes.

palpitating.

weak.

waiting…

he’s not calling, he’s not there…

he’s not coming either.

still waiting…

then waiting…

and waiting…

should she move?

i don’t know what LATER would have for her.

In his eyes...

In his eyes i see the joy of being me…

In his eyes i see acceptance of who i was, who i am and will be.

In his eyes i rest with nothing to worry about…

In his eyes i am loved without a doubt.

I am thankful for He let him see me…

I am happy that He gave him to me…

I may not be deserving, but He took me and brought him.

I am glad. I can sing free…

My Papa, my friend… forever you will be…

Life is Sweeter...

There are so many faces of life - happy, sad, miserable, and a whole lot more. We are all offered with all of it. We just have to decide as to which one to choose... which one to be... and which one to live. We are not getting any younger. The way we think few years ago or an hour ago is far too different with the way we think now. It is a matter of the here and now. The present... the gift. We can no longer linger to the "what has happened" and we can not just focus our eyes to the "what will be". Life is about now. So we savor each and every day of our lives and do things in an unhurried fashion. Life is an art. Life is sweet. And we can make it sweeter if we put our whole heart into it. It is just a matter of how we look into things... how we respond to every circumstance... It is not with how great one has become, but it is about doing small things with great love. After all, we will all end with the same direction. One's degree, wealth and possessions will no longer be remembered. But what will remain is how that person touched other people's lives.

Is it me?... or it is just the rain...

i was alone…
wind blowing…
water flowing…
the drops of rain i can hear…
the streets are clear…
nobody’s there…
then i walked…
i get soaked…
i needed someone…
someone called "you"…
i wanted to be home… to feel home…
i wanted to be with you… to feel you…
but you aren’t there…
i cried… i’m all alone…
i felt water flowing down my cheeks…
is it me, or it’s just the rain?

Confessions of a Dying Insomniac

It’s 3:00 in the morning, yet I am still awake. I can’t sleep. I am dying… At first, I thought I could just go on with the day without enough sleep. I said I could manage with or without it. It wasn’t a big deal. It was not! And now I feel so weak, so tired… I’ve been enervated by this long ordeal. I searched for answers, "How would I heal?". But sleep had forgotten me, left me… and i would cease to exist. Where are you? I am your dying insomniac. I realized I made you feel less important. I realized you already got fed up with me. I realized how wrong I was. I realized this is for real. This isn’t a game. Please come back… Please… I am your dying insomniac. I want to sleep again.

Windshield's Blurry

It’s dark and gloomy.. the rain hasn’t stopped pouring… it’s cold and lonely. I was listening to his music, the sound of his soul. I was captured. I realized, I am alone. This isn’t what we were used to be… happy… lax and carefree… Things have changed, for good I guess. It’s been so long, my heart forgets. I can no longer remember his smile… his touch… I can no longer remember us, just as he did, I guess. I’m driving home… It’s raining still… raining hard… I can not see the road… the windshield’s blurry.

Just One Dance

I felt it. I know that's what I have been wanting. I know that's what I've been missing. And I had it. But I had it when I threw all the possibilities of having it. When I was able to let go of the dream of having it. When I finally moved away from it. It was one dance. It was the dance that I have been waiting for. A dance where I could feel I am at the pedestal. I am of worth. I am so precious. I am loved.

I was so close to you. I could feel the beat of your heart. It feels like time stopped as I moved with your melody. I felt tears flowed down my cheeks. I also felt that you weep. I don't know how good I had it.

Things are just different now. I already made up my mind. The music may continue to play, but then, the other dancer isn't there. We had it. The last dance.